found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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