love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
