then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
