He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
