i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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