i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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