a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
