But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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