so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
