the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
