you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can I color on your dick again?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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