I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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