I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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