We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
