just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
