he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
