Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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