you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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