call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
