i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
