My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
