I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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