You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
