I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
