Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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