using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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