I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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