She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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