Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
