just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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