i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
