I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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