just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
