She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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