i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
