I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
