Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Enjoy the penises
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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