is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
