Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like abortions should bother me more
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the night ended with taco bell and tears
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
