I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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