Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
