can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
