Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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