I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
