her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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