can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
