i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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