I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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