i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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