Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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