man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
