just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
