i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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