literally had 100 drinks last night.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
