when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
